I wanted to share with you something I heard the other day that really resonated with me.
‘I’d rather be here now’
I’ve spent so many years of my life living in a hypothetical future.
Every day I’d wake up in the morning with the thought -
When I’ll lose weight I’ll be happy.
When I’ll have the perfect body I’ll be more liked.
When I’ll be skinny I’ll finally have a life.
It took me almost a decade of an unhealthy relationship with food & my body to finally understand that I wasn’t unhappy because of my weight.
I was unhappy because I wasn’t doing anything that makes my soul soar.
I was so obsessed about my hypothetical ‘one day’ ‘if - then’ future that I never really met my needs in the present. I was unhappy because I chronically wanted something I thought I ‘should’ have.
What I’ve realised after years of doing some deep inner work is that unhappiness exists in that gap between where you are and where you think you ‘should’ be.
That’s when I really understood I didn’t need to go on another diet to have a great life. What I needed was to tend to me life right now and learn to love and accept my body as she is.
I found so much inner peace when I stopped chasing a future I didn’t have.
It was one of the greatest lessons on living in THE NOW.
Becoming a mother brought some new lessons and reminders to my own personal life curriculum. With motherhood being such a great transition it can be easy to fall into dwelling on the past, on how life used to be before baby…
Couple of days before Maya was born I was writing some intentions for postpartum and in general for motherhood. I went for a little walk break in the park while listening to an interview with Eckhart Tolle. That’s when I heard him saying: I’d rather be here now. The moment I heard those words I felt their truth throughout my entire body.
I knew that motherhood is going to bring up a lot of challenges and it’s going to be like nothing I’ve ever done before, a big learning curve. I wrote down in big letters at the top of the page with all my intentions - I’D RATHER BE HERE NOW.
I’ve decided to make it a practice - whenever I notice myself dwelling in the past/future (wanting to be elsewhere) I’ll remind myself - I’d rather be here now.
Today I can say how thankful I am for this reminder. I now know that the only way for me to get thorough tough days and sleepless nights with grace is not with the attitude of sacrifice but in the spirit of joy and gratitude.
How about you? Do you sometimes future trip?
Note that there’s a difference between dreaming + planning for the future from a grounded centered place in the present, and postponing your happiness now for something that might or might not happen in the future.
Do you find yourself clinging to a past experience?
We all have an ego. The ego is always looking to govern; it’s always trying to take us out of the present moment by future tripping or obsessing over the past. By telling us we’d rather be somewhere else.
Anxiety, stress, frustration… they all happen when we resist what is, when we want our experience to be different.
But it doesn’t have to be this way… We can practice being in the moment as a way of life.
If you’re looking to create more inner peace in your life I hope this email will inspire you to take on the practice of living and accepting the present moment experience.
Being able to live in the moment is one of the most important skills we can build to live a joyful life.
It’s not going to be perfect (that’s why it’s a practice) but with time you’ll more often than not be able to identify when you’re drifting from the now and connect back to the present moment (regardless of your circumstances).
A little side note (maybe for another newsletter?) - accepting the present moment doesn’t mean you should stay in a situation you’re unhappy with. But know that positive change can only come from a place of acceptance.
Here is a small daily ritual you can start practicing to help you stay in the moment day by day -
Before you get out of bed in the morning, start your day asking yourself - How do I want to feel? Take a moment to allow yourself to cultivate the feelings you desire. Dwell in them. Visualise how your day would feel like.
Hold this vision throughout your day. Whenever you notice yourself drifting away from the present (obsessing about the past / future tripping) take a deep breath and remind yourself: I’d rather be here now.
(You can put it as your screensaver too!)
I hope this message resonates with you today and that you’ll find these tips - tools helpful. Let me know in the comments if you how it goes and if you have any questions you’d like me to answer!